Number One: They say that sarcasm is the lowest form of humour

Just so you know, I would of written something on this blog a couple of days ago, having started this blog in the week, yet i must admit the general depressing aura that surrounds 14th February has hindered me somewhat. I hate to sound pessimistic but, as one of my favourite films 'Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' points out, Valentines Day really is just a holiday created by commercial companies and makes single people feel like shit. I manage to detach myself from it enough to not give a rat's arse whether i receive a card or not, of course this year being the same as any other, with the occasional card from my mother/grandmother, full of warm hearted feelings and that usual hint of pity. What a cynic i am. The truth is, I quite like being single and even if i do receive a card i dismiss it as soon as I've read the stomach churning message inside. I think if you can't think of anything better than "Roses are red, Violets are blue..." then you must have the mental capability of a retarded goose, and therefore lack the quality of which i look for in a man. So there you have it, my views on Valentines. I hoped that by putting this in my first blog, readers can immediately sense what a bitter and cynical soul i can be.
But don't worry, I don't always moan about everything.
I just like to take the piss.
Humour and laughter is what gets me through the day, it just makes things easier a lot of the time. I'm sounding rather deep at the moment, but i can assure you i am lighthearted most of the time. i joke around with fellow mentals such as Ardant, Nigella and Miss Bernard (thought i'd codename my friends and more importantly people who i do not consider friends just to keep the peace!) and take a pretty chilled stance on life.
The reason for this is i do not enjoy
stress
as when i'm stressed i can get a little...
feisty.
However, having moved to a new city this year for university i'm fortunate to say no one's been, ohh dare i say it, too much of a cunt. Moving in with 7 other girls has been difficult, especially as being a self proclaimed 'geezerbird' i am often irritated by people who lack common sense and general "girly silliness", as i and Miss Bernard have named it, yet i love the uni life and and have been blessed in terms of my flatmates.

It is very different here compared to the town I'm from, a rather white middle class town, populated by old age pensioners on overly fast scooter things and 12 year old chavs on WKD. I feel that this city being a multicultured one is a positive thing, although sometimes I notice a certain tense friction present. I myself have been told out of a passing car window that I'm "unattractive because I'm white". Is it really necessary to shout what is essentially rascist abuse like that? And always from cars too, isn't it interesting how these strongly opinionated men never choose to come to you personally to voice their extreme opinions. Probably because they are petty little men who are in a hurry to get their pimped out BMWs back to the hire shop on time. Seriously though, we should just let people be what they want to be - regardless of race, colour and religion.
This city can be a strange place but i do like it here, its somewhere i consider "home" as much as my hometown. When a lady said to me a few days ago that this city lacked culture and historical value, i was surprised to find that i was ever so slightly offended.
"It's not that bad," I found myself saying. "You've just got to know where to look."