Editing final drafts

My initial drafts were quite over written, and went over the word limit of up to 5000 words. In order to cut down to well below the limit, I sent it to other readers for feedback and, having received the comments back, went through and thoroughly edited the work. I benefitted from this by then having enough space to continue the story to a satifactory point. The problem with the word count meant that, although I had reached four chapters in my opening, the fourth chapter did not have enough space to finish very well. I was forced to stop the story where she is about to have her photo taken, and I had always intended to show her doing well in the photoshoot in this assignment as that is what sets the tone for the rest of the plot. Without this part, the reader would not know if she was talented in modelling or not, therefore would not be as enticed by my writing as the assignment called for.

Once I had applied the suggestions from others, i proofread it myself as a critical writer. I reworded many points that seemed to tell the reader what was happening, instead of showing it. For example the line, "Millie sigh inwardly at her inabilty to sit anywhere cosy without causing a greivance with her height" was changed to a more simple, yet better described "She awkwardly arranged her legs within the tight space."

In this genre of writing, short snappy description is crucial for maintaining the younger reader's interest. It also helps to fine-tune my protagonist's voice which enriches the piece as a whole as is told very much from the point of view of Millie.